Being happy isn't about luck, or waiting around for circumstances to go your way. No matter how good things get, if we're waiting to be happy until we get "there," we'll always be waiting. There will always be another level of the good leife, another level of achievement we're hanging our happiness on. So what's the alternative? Strive for goals, yes, but remember to build happiness into your life now!
How do you do it? How do you build happiness into your life now & learn to enjoy all the little things? Read on to find out more!
You may also enjoy these articles:
Last week we talked about the difference between Happiness and Pleasure, and the perils of hanging your happiness exclusively on the things that give you pleasure ~
A bigger house... A new car... A new relationship... A vacation in Rome, at the ritziest hotel...
All good things, but also, not things that bring lasting happiness, merely a big dose of feel-good, pleasure that inevitably fades... And leaves us right back where we started. And that can, ironically, make us feel pretty unhappy in-between pleasures. And lead us to stop enjoying our lives, and start merely chasing after them. The antidote to chasing after pleasures? To the crash that can occur after a big "win" that leaves you feeling flat or empty?
It's not to stop pursuing big "wins", it's to be mindful of building daily happiness into your life.
You can read more about that in last week's newsletter if you missed it:
But this week I'd like to explore the how of building Happiness with a list of 9 ways to do just that!
1. Make time for the Niceties of Daily Life.
Make a list of your favorite small things that make your life lovely & enjoyable daily. Start with just seven simple things.
Your favorite cup of tea in the afternoon... A spritz of your signature scent in the morning... Lunch in your favorite park… A bouquet of flowers in your kitchen...
Then commit this week to doing one each day. Too often we deny ourselves the little things that can add so much to our day. We get too busy, or the day doesn’t feel special enough to warrant one these little blissful moments, but it's you who makes a day special.
2. Take a photo a day of one beautiful thing in your life.
A crisp mesmerizing-ly blue morning sky... A morning snuggle with your pup... The delicious salad you made... The color of the roses on the walk you took.
Just the act of having to find these beauties in your life, so you can photo one per day, will have you paying more attention to what is good in your life right now. And it makes a fun collage to review at the end of the week.
3. Remind yourself of how far you’ve come!
Think about what you were desperate to achieve just five or ten years ago, that you have now...
A baby you wanted to conceive, that is now a very busy toddler... A house you dreamed of that you now happily live in... A car you sorely needed, that now reliably takes you from Point A to B... A promotion with paycheck increase, that you now take for granted...
And then, pour some gratitude on those things. We often forget how far we have come, and how much we already have, and it's helpful to remember the long list of good things in our lives. After all, as someone else put it:
“If you aren’t grateful for what you already have, what makes you think you would be happy with more.”
― Roy T. Bennett
4. Trim the "To Do" List ( & relax more )
Make it a point to relax, and settle into your life on the regular. The dusting or folding or washing can often wait a day, or even a week from time to time while you slow down and enjoy the life you have by...
Taking a long luxurious night time bath... Reading a juicy mystery or romance... Enjoying a leisurely weekend meal with loved ones... Sipping a glass of wine while enjoying the sunset...
5. Spend more time with happy people
Your happiest friends? The most content ones? Prioritize them. Hanging around happy, content people that aren’t constantly lamenting all the things they’re missing out on or, sometimes worse, constantly trying to impress you with how much they have, how busy they are and how much they’ve accomplished… Can make you feel happier, too. Moods and feelings are catching, and spending regular time with people who are honestly content can help make us feel better too. PS. Your animal friends are a great place to start. Dogs, cats, horses and other furry critters always seem to find the happiness in any moment.
6. Put up a photo of you as a kid at your happiest, as a reminder.
Find a photo of you as a kid at your happiest: Maybe you were at camp... Or playing kickball in your own backyard... Or maybe you were dressed up in fave costume for Halloween... Post that photo on the fridge, put it on your desk, use it as the background of your phone, or put it as the desktop on your computer. But wherever you put it, use that smiling photo as a reminder to yourself, that the kiddo in that photo, knew happiness didn't take a lot to find. Or require a lot of extra stuff. Most often? It was found in your own backyard.
7. Go to a coffee shop and watch people.
See if you can tell who's happy. It can be illuminating when it comes to dispelling our common myths about what it takes to be happy. In fact, It doesn’t take very long to realize that happiness isn't reserved for any one type of person. Some of the poshest people in Dior can seem pretty sour in how they treat others, and people who seem to be struggling can seem pretty generous with their smile. And vice versa. Happiness isn't dependent on being either rich or poor. And it doesn't seem to depend on your relationship status. There are couples who barely talk to each, and couples that only seem to snip at each other, and then there are single people who truly seem pretty darn content. And vice versa. A little people watching on the regular can remind us that happiness is more mindset than circumstances.
8. Make it a point to talk about your happiest moments.
When I once made it a point to ask everyone I could about their happiest moments in life, I not only had a lot of fun, happy conversations, I was also surprised by what people told me. I rarely heard stories about mansions or success or promotions. No one ever mentioned the big trophy or reward, or even the day they made a million. Instead, they told stories of... Being 20 and living in a tiny studio apartment in New York City, surviving on Ramen, but so excited to be there. Or they talked about their very first house - a tiny two bedroom when they had three young kids, and no personal space. But they were one big, happy, very close knit family. Or they talked about hunting with their dad as a kid, or helping their grandma in the kitchen when they were little. They talked about trips to a tiny beach on the coast where they did nothing, and lived simply. Ask this question & I think you'll find as I did that happiness, is mostly, not the material stuff at all.
9. Get off line. And go outside.
Stop eyeing someone’s beach bod, or their new home, or that vacation they just took on social media. Being online too often, even in the best groups, is not the recipe for happiness. It's the recipe for isolation, loneliness and discontentment. Your real life awaits you… offline. And it *is* filled with beautiful, happy moments just waiting for you to notice them: Holding the hand of your "best friend" and partner on a long walk... Running barefoot in the grass, laughing, as you chase your kids... Someone unexpectedly holding the door for you... Catching up with an old friend at a wine tasting, and laughing your head off... And it's difficult to be unhappy, or feel like your missing out on something when you're busy enjoying your life in real time.
And that's the list!
But, I am hoping you’re noticing something here — None of these things are hard.
In fact, they are, all of them, surprisingly simple, and they don’t take a lot of money or even a lot of time.
Happiness, blessedly, is like that.
It’s always well within reach.
And with that, I'm off to go enjoy my life!
PS. A great way to get started in loving your life as it now?
Filling it with tiny daily pleasures. Interested in getting started on doing just that? Check out my bestselling e-book:
"55 Simple Pleasures to wake up your Ordinary Days" ......it's available on the website, and it's a great place to start if you want find more happiness in your life!
You can purchase yours here:
See you all next Week!
All my love,
Desiree Sommer
Desirée Sommer is a former Interior Designer & Writer dedicated to helping those around her to Beautify, Style & make their lives Fun again! She happily resides in the rural beauty of Idaho with her pet pooch Bree, where she gets to take epic hikes, and plot her next big travel escapade. Her favorite things include traveling, fil eam & anything French or Italian. Oh, and dancing! Always dancing!
Ready for more ways to find Happiness & Joy?