Ever had that thought? And maybe more than once? Do you know what's driving that thought? You might be surprised! Read on to find out about how that thought is actually making your success and happiness even harder in the long run!
“What is wrong with me?!”
Ever caught yourself thinking that in a moment of frustration and anger?
Or how about:
“Why do I keep screwing up?
Why can’t I get this right? Why do I keep doing this same crazy thing over and over again?!”
That right there, is shame speaking.
Shame tells to us that there is something wrong with us. Something that we need to fix. Some way in which we just aren’t quite meeting the standard that everyone else is doing just fine with.
And the scary thing? Most people don’t even recognize these subtle thoughts as shame, but they are.
Shame shows up in these small pervasive thoughts we dismiss as us, “just being honest with ourselves.” Sometimes we even think these thoughts are helping us to get better.
But telling yourself there’s something wrong with you, isn’t honesty.
It’s criticism! It's an attack. And if you pay attention, you’ll notice those voices never seem to help you “get better,” with their perspective.
Instead, they only ever keep you stuck doing the very thing you're lambasting yourself for.
All while you secretly think most everyone else knows how to do it perfectly. Just not you.
That's shame.
“Sure other people have procrastination,
but they just knuckle down and get it done. Not like you… You’re a screw off.”
“Sure other people are insecure,
but they just know how to fake it until they make it. Not like you.
You never seem to be able to shake off your insecurity.”
That's shame.
Shame putting us down, and subtly, pervasively convincing us our issues aren’t like other people’s issues. They’re somehow way worse.
And then, we often start to quietly hide these parts of ourselves.
We’re embarrassed to admit we that we scroll social media
instead of writing that memoir, or organizing that storage room.
Or that we just can’t seem to stop ourselves from eating ice cream at midnight.
No matter how many times we promise ourselves we’ll stop doing it.
As the shame progresses we often start to hide who we are in subtle ways, shielding the “worse” parts of ourselves from view, and allowing this sense of shame to steal the joy and pleasure from our days.
We stop waking up excited and happy. And instead, we start to have a mild sense of dread and hopelessness about our true desires and dreams.
And that’s no way to live, but it is a common occurrence for so many people in our society.
So if you have shame, you’re not alone.
And you don’t need to feel bad about it.
You just need to get some help in unshaming all those hidden parts of yourself.
And guess what? That shame, those hidden parts? They are often hiding your biggest gifts and talents from view.
So if you are interesting in finding out more about unshaming...
Or....
You'd like to get started with a certified, experienced coach....
You can watch this space for more information (like & follow).
And email me at:
for more information about working with me!
Lots of love to you all,